How I Got A FREE Mango

Sometime ago, I was surfing the internet in an ICT center close to my apartment, then something interesting happened. So interesting that it made me pause for a few moments, record the incident in my journal, made an article out of it before I then continued what I was doing.

I titled the article: ‘How I got a free mango” and frankly, that was exactly what happened- I got a free mango.

I’ll tell you the story. It’s a short one. A short, funny, interesting, life-changing story. OK, Let’s go right to it:

I like mangoes a lot, especially the type that everything except the seeds are completely eaten (you know, the type above). They appear very yellow and mere sighting them makes me salivate even after I’ve stopped looking.

Those were the kind of mangoes I saw that day at the ICT center.

A lady with a not-too-good-looking countenance was in possession of them. I looked at the lady’s face and it wasn’t welcoming. I looked at the mangoes: they were literally shouting my name: LEONARD! Come here! Come eat us!

As you rightly guessed, the mangoes won. Even though I was with a good looking lady friend of mine, of which as a guy, you know, I’d always like to impress, , I didn’t mind. Even though the owner of those mangoes wasn’t looking friendly, I didn’t mind. My desire for those mangoes took the upper hand.

My next move even surprised me. I’m naturally shy, buy I courteously excused myself from my good-looking lady friend (and left my shy self to keep her company for a while). I walked up to the not-too-good-looking lady with the good-looking mangoes and beaming with smiles, asked her something that sounded like this; of course, after exchanging pleasantries (thank God it was exchanged pleasantries).

I asked boldly, without fear of receiving a ‘no’. I didn’t even consider the possibility of not getting at least a mango.

‘Please, can I have one of you mangoes?’ I asked, still smiling. Well, I remember she wasn’t ‘exchanging’ the smiles and I remember she paused a while and looked at her mangoes, and then looked back at me.

I was still smiling. She didn’t know what I did mentally. When looking at her face, I didn’t see her anymore, I saw one of her yellow, juicy mangoes replacing her face. I saw her gladly handing me a mango. I saw me helping myself with a fat, tasty mango.

After taking a quick look at her mangoes and me, and back at her mangoes, she then selected one and handed over to me. She had at least a dozen mangoes and her countenance didn’t really indicate that she was very enthusiastic about letting go of one of them.

Me? If you had handed me a check of a thousand dollars then, I wouldn’t have been happier. I gladly collected the mango and thanked her before going back to meet my friend.

It was an interesting show. This was when I had the hunch.

THE LESSON I LEARNED

It was just one lesson. There were lots of lessons I extracted from this experience but this one was the basic one and it stood out. What was this lesson? In Black and White:

‘When you need something, go right to the source and ASK’.

Simple, isn’t’ it? I know you read that very fast, so let’s take a few moments to discuss it.

   1.    YOU NEED SOMETHING

Yes, that’s the first step. You needing something. Well, for me, I didn’t really need the mangoes, the mangoes kind of needed me, and you saw how they were screaming my name, beckoning on me to come for them… sorry, just kidding…

I needed a mango. It was the season for mangoes and I hadn’t had any for a while. Immediately I saw the lady having those mangoes, I decided that I’ll go ask for one, come what may, well, because I needed to eat a mango.

So what do you need? You must realize you need for it and your need has to be strong. Strong enough to overcome your insecurities and weaknesses.

Is it a job? A loan? A favor? A date? Whatever it is, you’ve got to make up your mind. That’s the first step.

And your desire has to be strong…

   2.    GO RIGHT TO THE SOURCE

You don’t go anywhere else, you go right to the source. In fact, the more directly you go to the very source of your need, the better.

This principle is so simple that I wonder why so many people fail to follow it. Go to the source of your needs. Simple and basic. 

Throw your shyness/timidity out of the window (or with a good-looking friend, like I did) and go right to the source of your needs.

When I learned this principle, a lot of things changed about my life. Now, most times when I go to an organization or company with a need, I either go the person directly in charge of that specific need of mine, or I go to the top man. Either of these two.

Why? Because these are the people in position to solve my problem, that’s why. And here’s also one thing I discovered about organizations; the higher placed the person you meet, the more likely you need will be met, because the more control these people assume, the more responsibility they have and the more things they can do.

So, be bold and go right to the source of your needs; if possible, higher. It’s always easier for water to flow downhill.

   3.   ASK

You’ve got to open your mouth and ask for what you need. There’s a principle I like working with, and here it is: If you don’t ask, your chance of getting what you want is nil 0%. If you ask, that chance is increased to- you guessed right- 50%; either a yes or a no.

So you stand to lose nothing and you’re 50% more likely to get what you need, if only you ask. Don’t be scared of ‘no’. It doesn’t kill. It simply meant that you made the effort to ask and you increased your chances of success.

Ask, my friends, ‘Ask and you shall receive; seek and you shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you; for everyone that asks receives; everyone that seeks finds; and to everyone that knocks, it shall be opened. (Jesus, Matthew 7:7-8).

It is a principle; it always holds. Most people don’t even cross the step of desiring something not to talk of even asking, so go right ahead and ask for what you need. Ask courteously. A lot of people in position are more than willing to help, so learn this important principle of asking and apply it as frequently as you can.

OK. I guess that’s it, but I have a gut feeling that I need to talk about how to correctly ask for a favor.

HOW TO ASK

  1.   WITH COURTESY: Yes, with courtesy. It tops the list. In my opinion, courtesy is the singular most important social skill anyone can possess. Courtesy can open doors for you even when previously there were no doors. Courtesy can grant you access and favor before kings and great people.

Here are three most important aspects of courtesy that you must without fail, imbibe in your daily interactions.

  PLEASE: Nice words like ‘please’ can melt even concrete hard hearts. Fill; your sentences with as many ‘pleases’ as is possible. It shows courtesy

·  A SMILE: A smile is a universal language and all cultures and languages understand it. A smile: It means: ‘I like you’, ‘I’m interested in your affairs’, and ‘I’d like to help you’. No matter how hard-hearted an individual is, a smile is almost all is needed to soften it. A smile- right from the deepest part of your heart; not faked; not intended for deception; a smile, intended for peace, harmony and courtesy.

It’s free, so why not use it as many times as possible in your daily interactions? It grants you favors as rapidly as anything you can think of. A simple, courteous smile. So, ask with a smile.

· THANKS: Your daily interactions should be filled with as many ‘pleases’, smiles, and ‘thanks’ as possible. ‘Thanks’; ‘Thank you’; these should be part of your daily language.

In fact, when you realize that the day has gone up to half and you’ve not said at least a dozen ‘thank yous’, you’re not doing well enough.

It costs nothing, so, as much as you can, let every interaction you have with people, no matter how top placed or how lowly placed begin, be filled and end with as many 'thanks' as wouldn’t raise a brow.

You’re not only saying thanks because someone assisted or did you a favor in some way; you’re saying thanks to everyone you meet because it’s a courteous thing to do. So, whether you’re at the giving or receiving end, say thanks.

So, to get you into the habit of using these 3 courteous languages. Stand in front of a mirror every morning and say 50 pleases and 50 thank you’s, all while beaming with the best smile you could possibly come up with.

If you find it a bit uneasy smiling at your reflection, just think about a time in your past when you felt really good, or when you were honored in some way. Or your can even think about the funniest joke you’ve ever heard.

   2.   WITH EXPECTATION: If I’m in position to grant you a favor or request, and I realize that you’re not too certain in my abilities to grant you that request; that you’re not confident that you’ll receive what you’re asking. If I realize that you’re wavering in your request and that you’re not really expecting to receive, well, I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking- I’LL TURN YOU DOWN. It’s that simple.

Very few things move people to action as your belief in them to do what you’re asking. When you put faith and confidence in a man, he’ll hardly turn you down. Why? Because his pride is at stake. If he turns you down when you’re full of expectation (and show it), in most cases, he couldn’t grant your request even if he wished to.

People are moved to action by pride, ego and vanity. It’s illogical but that’s what is obtainable, so take advantage of this principle. 

ASK WITH EXPECTATION TO RECEIVE and you further increase your chances of receiving.

  3.   REASONABLY: People don’t like saying ‘no’ to requests, so don’t try to make them to by being unreasonable in your demands.

Being Reasonable here is relative. It depends on a lot of factors, so, you must employ your faculties here and make reasonable requests. In my example, I asked for a mango. That’s reasonable considering the fact that our lady here had more than a dozen mangoes. I didn’t ask for six. That would have been unreasonable. So, employ this principle in your requests.

FINALLY

There’s one ‘trick’ I’ll give you. Consider this a give-away. A gift for your patience in reading this article up till now (and hey, you’ve been having fun, haven’t you?).

It’s one that only veterans use in making requests. When you use it, you get close to 90% chance of getting a ‘yes’.

I used the word ‘trick’ but in the real sense, it’s a principle. Try it today and feel the experience yourself.

I can only tell you to use it as responsibly as you possibly can. It’s better not to attempt it at all if you don’t really know how to. Like I said, it’s for veterans and mistakes can be fatal.

So, here it is.

‘Whenever you have a request to make, prepare another request in which you’re sure that the person you’re asking the favor from will say ‘no’. This step is vital. You don’t really need this second request but prepare it, and be certain you’ll get a ‘no’.

Now go to the person with the two requests, but table this second unwanted request first. You have to be very smart. This unwanted request must not be to outrageous neither should it have a slim possibility of being granted. It should however be a bit higher in magnitude than the needed one.

If it is too outrageous, you may not even have the chance to make your second, needed request and even if you do, you’ll very likely still get a cold shoulder.

What if it was granted, you may be in serious trouble for that was not your original need and you’ll be in a big fix for you may not have the guts to make your needed request.

The key is this: All things being equal, it is difficult for most people to turn down well worded requests, so when your first request is made, and you get a ‘no’, the person in position to grant your request feels a bit of guilt and regret.

When you then present your second much-lesser-in-magnitude request, you’re most likely to get a ‘yes’. This is because your request grantor (hopefully) needs to eliminate his/her feeling of guilt and regret, and granting your second request will help them do exactly that.

Does this trick work? Sure it does. If you learn how to use it properly and like every other skill, you improve with practice. So try practicing this where there’ll be no much harm done if things go bad; like with a friend or family member.

So, that’s it pals. I got a free mango under a minute. A free, delicious, juicy mango; simply because I applied some basic principles.

I knew what I needed; my desire was strong; I went right to the source; I asked courteously, with expectation and reasonably, and then, I got my free mango.

And you should’ve seen me later that day when I was eating my mango. It really showed that I ‘worked’ for it.

So, guess my point is made.

See you at the top.