Never Too Late To Say ‘Thanks’

A sincere ‘thank you’ is one of the loveliest things to be heard. It warms the heart, puts smile to the face and adds joy to the heart. It makes one feel like a fulfilled hero even though he may have accomplished the smallest of tasks with the slightest of efforts.

We starve others of this little but lovely expression due to several reasons, most evidently; self-centeredness, pride, or a mere nonchalant and uncaring attitude. Hard as it may sound, if we can be honest, this is often the case.

I have discovered that there are 2 situations that can lead to us use the word ‘Thanks’

      1.      ‘Thanks’, the gratitude, and

      2.      ‘Thanks’, the courtesy.

It gets me thinking sometimes how people fail to say ‘thank you’ as well as they should, either as a result of showing gratitude to someone for doing them a favor, or as a result of being just courteous to people they meet on their day to day activities. I came to the conclusion however that it takes a conscious effort to create this attitude, because it is an attitude.

So for us to understand exactly what ‘Thanks’ mean, let’s look at the two cases where it can be used, with examples of course.

‘THANKS’ THE GRATITUDE

We all know what I mean if I say ‘gratitude’, except perhaps... emm… well, except perhaps, you’re from another planet. We all (in this planet) have tons of reasons to show gratitude to the people we encounter daily in life. Our parents, guardians, friends, relatives, colleagues, etc, deserve gratitude for the little favors they do us. Yes they do deserve some gratitude for being there for us, not only for what they do, but for who they are to us.

Taking this further, we take for granted some privileges we possess; some gifts that we have: clean air to breathe, clean water to drink, food to eat, the life that we have, our health, our families and friends; eyes to read this article, and what-have-you. Things to be grateful for are indeed numerous.

OK, now…

           

                                ‘THANKS’ THE COURTESY

Courtesy… a big word isn’t it? For some, this word exists only in their dictionaries (if indeed they have one). We live in a world filled with people who would rather eat crap than be courteous (sorry if my analogy is too crude). Come to think of it, what does the word ‘courteous’ mean to you? I’m serious, give me a reply now. I’m waiting… don’t consult anything yet, just from your mind. 

Did you come up with anything? A lot would use another word, say, ‘Kind’, ‘Polite’, and ‘Respectful’. If you are among this ‘a lot’, that’s good enough. Let’s try you again with my second question. How many people can you remember being kind, polite and respectful today? When I say ‘people’, I mean those that you owe absolutely no responsibility to be kind, polite and respectful to (so your boss is excluded).

How do you feel when you discover someone being courteous only when he/she has to? I’ll tell you how I feel; I feel irritated and disappointed. Courtesy has to be part of our lives. We have to use the word ‘thanks’ as many times as possible in a day to express courtesy, even when it’s not in our place to do so.

I’ll tell you a little tale. I was making a purchase with a friend of mine at a shop. After the purchase, I said ‘thank you’ to the salesperson. My friend was kind of uneasy with that. ‘She was supposed to tell you that, not the other way round’ he blurted out. Well, that’s true in a way, I reasoned, because I could easily go to another shop making the former shop lose a sale from me. So I was supposed to be thanked. But does it matter? I think it doesn’t. When courtesy is a part of us, petty things like this don’t matter. We use ‘thanks’ at almost every encounter we have with any mortal.

So, here we are. What if you are guilty of failing to use the word ‘thanks’ either to express gratitude or to be courteous? What do you do?

                  HOW DO YOU SALVAGE THE SITUATION?

Here are some things you can do: It’s a 3-step process:

1.        ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR MISTAKE:

Yes, you are at fault. Let me tell you one thing. In situations like this, people are very unlikely to complain directly to you, so it’ll be kind of difficult for you to fully know unless you are absolutely honest with yourself. You must realize that you’re committing an almost unpardonable offence.

Most people- spouses, children, employees, friends, relatives, etc- will gladly give up a lot just to hear a word, yes, A WORD of appreciation, encouragement or acknowledgement from you, for their contributions or efforts, no matter how minute, irrelevant or even mediocre those efforts may seem. Even if they are being paid for it, it doesn’t matter. It’s demoralizing, disheartening, discouraging and saddening to be ignored.

2.      DECIDE TODAY TO TURN A NEW LEAF

Yesterday is gone (together with its woes); tomorrow is yet to come (hopefully, with few woes). Today; the present moment, is only what you have and can use.

Decide today to have a change of attitude. I mean today; the present moment. Start appreciating people-everyday, everywhere, for anything at all: opening of a door, a service delivered to you, a waiter, a cashier, a barber, a tailor, a cab man, a cleaner, a gift sent (this one, of course, is all too obvious), a call, a text message; the list is endless.

Appreciate people! It’s a great habit to adopt. Even a mere warm smile will go miles in making people feel and become better. Start today. Start with the next encounter. START NOW.

                               3.       MAKE IT A HABIT

Perhaps you’ve done grievous harm by failing to appreciate people. Fret no more over your mistakes. They’re in the past now. The way to make this thing work, however, is to make it a habit; a part of your life, just like your breath, and the way to make it a habit is to consciously do it so frequently and with persistence till it now becomes a part of your subconscious mind. By then, you cannot help but be courteous; you cannot help but show gratitude; you cannot help but say ‘thank you’.

In a situation where you’ve failed someone in this regard; now that you’ve turned a new leaf, go over and make amends. Begin with the next opportunity you have. Just do it; with all sincerity. This habit makes you a friend of all, so stick to it.

That’s all there is to it, gentlemen and ladies. Not much of a work, is it? Well’ I’ll leave that to you to find out. Remember, the way to make this thing work is to take action: to actually DO IT.
                                      SEE YOU AT THE TOP…